Saturday, December 31, 2011

My New Year's Resolution

I'm going to start with one simple statement. Are you ready because it will knock your socks clear off you feet and they'll land on some stranger's face. It's really best to just take them off now before that happens. It will be awkward at best.

I do not make New Year's Resolutions!

There, I said it and I meant it! I don't make them and here's why. It's actually quite simple, I'm already as amazingly awesome as I'll ever get. You see I'm good at everything I want to be good at. I regularly decide to do something whether it be learn a new skill, accomplish something that all you sorry normal people would stress over and probably not succeed at, or whatever I decide to do. I'm not trying to sound like a complete ass, it just comes with the territory.

So every year I bring in the new year much like many of you do also: with explosive diarrhea. It's a cleansing process. That's how I stay so healthy; a yearly cleansing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I don't actually plan on having explosive diarrhea. I'm really hoping that I don't actually.

So, my New Year's Resolution is to not make a New Year's Resolution.

Mission Accomplished!

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