As a janitor, I get a rare look inside the Women's Restroom which is something I've always been intrigued by. I'm sure now that many of my lady readers are asking, "What is so intriguing about a Restroom?" Well ladies, it's common knowledge in the male community that women in fact do not have bodily waste. To put it plainly, all men know that girls don't poop.
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| Deny it all you want, ladies. We're not listening! |
So, when I realized that my job would require me to enter such forbidden territory I was excited to say the least. What happened when I stepped in the room disappointed me. I was greeted by a bathroom that looked almost exactly like all the bathrooms I've become accustomed to seeing. The only differences that were apparent upon first inspection were the "Tampon and Maxi Pad" dispenser (I highly doubt that's really what's in there, but probably it is), no urinals (weird) and each toilet stall has it's own garbage can. (High class! Us guys have to share a garbage can and they leave it by the sink.) Also, I noticed that the tile was pink, which I thought was really cute!
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| They get a big garbage, too?! |
Today, as I was leaving I noticed that there was an extra door in the bathroom that the men's room lacks. "What's this?" I wondered. I'm no Sherlock Holmes but I fancy myself quite an amateur detective so open the door I must! I first thought that probably it was just a storage closet which would be an excellent place for me to keep some extra paper towels and toilet paper. (For the neighboring men's room of course) I never would have guessed what wonders lay behind the plain wooden door.
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| Open me, Sean. Open me! |
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| WHAT THE F@!# IS THIS! |
Okay, I'm not going to swear. Yes I am! Shit! What more do you want! I never, NEVER want to hear another woman complain about anything again. You have a DAMN living room in your bathroom. Why? What could you ever need this for? Do you use it while you talk about your significant other's impotence and laugh and his shriveled little friend with all your friends?
My favorite part was that some of these "closets" had a sign that said "Mother's Room". Okay. I can understand a Mother's Room at a mall or church or library or almost anywhere else, but this is in an office building. I've never seen a nursing mother at work with her baby in all the years I've been alive.
This is just so ridiculous. I don't know who designed these buildings but if it was a man, you sir, need to learn to stand up to your wife. Just say, "No, wife! No! I will not give all the women who will work in this building a place to go and pretend to be in the bathroom!" And if a woman designed this building, you are an evil master mind!
its where they change the dirty diapers!
ReplyDeleteSean, this is amazing. I myself don't have the balls to say that i want to see the inside of a women's room, but yes i do. -bucky
ReplyDeleteSilly Sean! Working mothers don't take their babies to work! That quaint little room is there so that two or three times a day they can extract the needed nourishment for their babies, using evil sucking devices, in a quiet and unpopulated place. I wish I had a setup like that when I was still working. I had to go down to the security office and get them to unlock a little office next to them and sit on an uncomfortable chair, trying to relax, while I could hear the security guys talking on the other side of the wall. It was not a great environment for helping me to relax and pump breastmilk for my baby!
ReplyDeleteHey guys... This is in no way serious. I write comedy. I'm intelligent enough to know what the room is for. I do however believe that there is no reason for a couch, other comfy chair and a coffee table in a room the size of my bedroom.
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