Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Every now and then I take time to reflect and reminisce about my past. I don't do this to better myself in any way. (it is my opinion that I'm pretty great just how I am) I also don't plan these reflections as though I have a standing appointment with myself. They happen randomly, like running into a long lost friend. Also like running into a long lost friend, it's often awkward.

Although these reminiscence sessions place me in direct danger of embarrassment, I continue to allow them to occur for one simple reason: They are hilarious. At least I think so, and I'm quite sure that if you don't find them funny, they will at least be enlightening.

So here's the deal, every time I realize something from my past that I find share-able and hilarious, I will write it on this blog and the title will be something like,

"Confessions: Letters in 1998"

In 1998 I was a total lady's man... in my own world. Whether or not this was reflected in the real world or everyone else's worlds, I can't be certain, but for the sake of this story it's important that you understand that I was a lady's man.

I was fourteen years old and like most fourteen year old kids, I was experiencing some metamorphosis. Most of these "Power Ranger" type changes were very similar to most people. Also, they were usually disgusting; body odor, voice cracks, I started "growing" facial "hair". My fashion sense changed, as did my taste in music and many of my friends. Music is key to this story. I started listening to Punk Rock!

Back to the point of me being a total lady's man, Around that time I also discovered that girls thought I was cute. That's right, I used to be cute! It lasted about a month and it's been down hill ever since. I few of these girls who thought I was cute lived in other towns and we started writing letters back and forth. I guess you could say we were pen pals, but that sounds so dorky!

There was one such girl in particular named Jessica. I met her at a church volleyball tournament. I had seen her at another church something or other a month or two before and thought she was cute, so I was totally excited when she wanted to get my address so she could write to me. (This was before most people had email... I'm old)

I was serious about my letters. I even had a binder with paper for the letters, stickers, envelopes, stamps and the addresses of the girls I was writing to. (I was cool) I wanted my letters to her to be as cute as I was back then so I spent a lot of time with them. Almost as much time as I spent in my bedroom listening to Slick Shoes, Blink 182, Nerf Herder, Homegrown and other awesome bands that I still listen to fourteen years later. Most of the songs were about girls so it worked well for me to think about Jessica and the other girls I wrote letters to. I remember for sure that Jessica got a lot punk quotes worked sneakily and unaccredited in probably all of her letters.

The point of this story is: I'm sorry Jessica, where ever you are today, your letters from Sean Donner were heavily plagiarized.

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